Talk It Out

Today's will be a short post, but something worth thinking about.

How much can we do to help those close to us solve their problems? Heal their relationships? Look at life differently?

It's a tricky thing, being happy. It makes you feel like you know what you're doing. It makes you feel like you have advice to offer, counsel to give. But I believe my happiness is the culmination of many things, but the result of just one thing: openness. This past year, I've been open to failure, to my flaws, and to rejection. I've been open to learning, to teaching, and to success. And most of all, I've been open to talking. Talking, candidly and honestly, with a fair heart and a mind grounded in reason, has led me to so many constructive, healing conversations. Conversations where I could make my point, but practice empathy and consideration. Communication, like happiness, is a very tricky thing, indeed.

So where does my ability communicate stop? I can heal my broken friendship, but can I mend the struggling relationship between my two friends? I can urge them to talk. I can coach them on how to approach each other. But I can't make them do it, and I certainly can't do it for them. I can cope with my own personal struggles with anxiety, but can I help another do the same? I can give them resources. I can suggest getting help. But I can't make them do it, and I certainly can't do it for them. 

For now, I've surmised that the best I can do is to continue to love, listen, and talk to these people. Perhaps talking with me will demonstrate [what I feel] would be helpful if they did the same with others.

The Weirdness of Internet Anonymity

(Candid Opening: I've been negligent with this blog. I've started a Tumblr, which is what I call my "quick blog." Totally for people with attention span issues and time-poor audiences. However, all is not lost. I still have thoughts that are certainly blog-worthy).

So the internet is this super connected place where we can learn anything and talk to anyone all the time in real time (whoa...I know). It's a busy, vast, sometimes inconceivable beast that has completely changed our world- for better or for worse. And before anyone gets any ideas about this post inspiring some manifesto I'm going to write about the internet, let me be clear- I'm no techie. I can barely rifle my way through WordPress. However, I have studied some of the social outcomes of the internet's existence, and this post is dedicated to my most recent observation: the anonymity of it all makes people WEIRD.

Okay, not all people. And not the whole internet.

Let's talk Facebook. People who generally don't use pet names/don't say "I love you"/haven't talked to you in years/don't make eye contact/can't read/eat chalk/etc... are all of a sudden liberated to internet hug you whenever they see your name on a newsfeed. There are a few things at play with this: 1) usually, the receiving individual is far, far away. No messy responses. No tears, no follow up questions. It's one-and-done. 2) You don't have to say it out loud! Typing makes this pleasant little click noise, and before you know it, you're sending love through the airwaves. ("No one heard you, right?"). 3) You can delete it. Sometimes it gets to the recipient before you have the chance (darn internet...), but it sure beats saying the words and never being able to change your mind! 

Alright, so I'm sassy today. Truly, I have no problem with throwing some fruity love on the interwebs. But if you don't (or can't) say it in person, it doesn't translate on the screen. Even worse, because I can't hear that person saying it, boy does it sound sugary. And by sugary, I mean insincere and - you guessed it- weird.

But hey, don't let me tell you what to write on your Faceplaces. Do what's in your heart. But if it's in your heart to be sweet, make sure you double that love that say it in person as well. It's worth it.

"Start With The Pitch"

Formality. I get it. In the business world, we have to be professional. Granted, depending on the company, the meaning of "professional" may loosen. But if you consider the least common denominator, you at least put pants on and spell out full words. 

So this varying degree of formality/professionalism, I've found, creates a smattering of awkward moments in the workplace that I always find myself asking...myself..."Why the hell is she saying 'moving right along' at this meeting?" [Yes. We had an agenda, and she said, "Moving right along"]. But it's other things too, like, "I'd like to take a minute to talk about..." or, "Perhaps we could address..." and so on and so forth (<-- that's another one). I suppose I just don't understand why the "grey matter" gets tossed into a meeting or conversation once we flip the light on in our cubicle. Aren't we all just talking anyway? Don't we have important things to say? 

I once read, "Don't start with the wind up. Start with the pitch." In other words, no one cares about your crappy lead-in. Start with the good stuff! And hell, be excited about it! Show some character. Smile when you talk. Look at people. And for crying out loud, get to the point. If you say "etc", then we assume there is more. Tell us about it. If you say "things of that nature", tell us what nature you mean. If I say, "It's like football, wrestling, UFC, and other things of that nature" I could mean contact sports, male-dominated sports, or the inherent source of hypermasculinty in the United States which directly supports shitty TV like Jersey Shore. 

See?

All I'm saying is, in school, you get knocked for this kind of work. If you put it in a paper, it gets cut out. If you say it in a speech, you're unnatural and underprepared. If your professor teaches like some people run meetings, they're evaluated as vague and not engaging. Of course, I know school is different than the work force. Not all of it is directly translatable. But some of it is. Like grammar. (Don't even get me started...)

Do I have a bone to pick today? Yep. Can you tell? Probably. But I figure being transparent probably won't hurt anyone. All I call for is some balance between embracing professionalism and "starting with the [interesting] pitch." 


AND ANOTHER THING! Jokes. I'm done. Off my high horse. Gonna go make a friend or something...

It takes courage...

As of this week, both of my internships are in full-swing. [Education and Community Engagement at Hennepin Theatre Trust, & Marketing at The Cowles Center for Dance and the Performing Arts]. 

I just wanted to land a quick note about how my recent career decisions have affirmed exactly where I want to be. Deciding to work 40 hours/week for free wasn't easy, and it's only the first month. I expect it may only get more difficult. But in my book, hearing ballet classes (live piano!) in the background, and getting insider access to amazing Broadway productions (The Lion King!) are very validating factors. I have given myself to the performing arts my entire life. Why change gears now? Ask some, and they'll tell you nonprofits don't pay. Ask me, and I'll tell you it's where I'm happy. I know this industry, and if I work as hard as I plan, I'll be bringing in the entertainment for Minneapolis for a long while. 

I'm doing everything I know how to do; everything I want to do. I'm in charge of Hennepin Theatre's historic tours, I'm involved in giving underserved communities access to theatre tickets through donations, I will be tag-teaming an adult, theatre networking session each month, I've archived a year's worth of magazine/newspaper clippings (arts&crafts, anyone? :) and I get to construct an entire social media campaign. This is the work that my peers are doing as well, but I am just so lucky to have my work centered in live theatre. It's going to be a wonderful spring, everyone. 

General Update: Reporting for Duty!

Since it has been close to an eternity since I've given any love to this blog, I surmise that a general update is in order. The starting place feels much longer ago than a mere three weeks- so much has happened! On December 22, I turned in my final paper (Ethics on "How to Live a Good Life"-- what a topic, eh?) and I moved out of my campus apartment. Not surprisingly, it was a pretty emotional week. While I had (have) so much to celebrate, I told Jared it was St. Ben's was "breaking up with me." My internal dialogue echoed something along the lines of, 

"Olivia, it's been a great four years together, but I feel that it's time to go our separate ways. It's not you, it's me. This is best for the both of us." 

"St. Ben's, no! We can make it work!" Yep. I love that place that much. I really look forward to articulating exactly what The College of Saint Benedict was for me - especially when my reflections are so fresh. 

So as a graduate in December, I would certainly note an element of awkwardness in the aftermath. Most of your peers are dying to leave, while you're silently holding on to every moment on the friggin Link. However, the holidays were a real stabilizer. When you're thrust out into the "real world" to find yourself directly in the company of family, food, and merriment, well- it is a tangible reminder that life just gets better and better. Life doesn't slow down, and it surely doesn't stop. So when you feel like you are not in control of your timeline (like I felt as I walked off campus) go back to home base. Thanks to many, I regrouped. 

Christmas was short, but wonderful. We made the trip up north, and I can't remember the last time we all had so much fun together. Of course, whenever we are all together, it's always the time we feel our losses the most. The remedy? Be together as much as possible. It's quite hilarious actually. Stacy brought over an ugly Christmas sweater for everyone, which we wore straight through dinner. They even survivded the hilarious white elephant exchange, where popular gifts included the meatloaf pan, pajama jeans, and the Make A Deal ZONK box of matches. But soon, due to a four-hour stint of Running Charades, we were down to long underwear and rosy cheeks. After our brains started short-circuiting from the over stimuli of charade gestures, we literally moved every piece of furniture into the living room. We watched movies until all eyelids were too heavy to keep open. It wasn't traditional, but traditional doesn't really fit us anymore. It was our quirky little Christmas. 

When I count my blessings, I always feel so grateful for my second family: The Sherlocks. Jared's family has taken me as their own since the day I met them (truly, even before then. Our beginnings as a couple are set to be a second future blog, and apparently, they had me pegged ;). I no more than unpacked my bag from Christmas before I was excitedly repacking for my stay in the Sherlock Happy Place for an extended week of snowboarding, Dexter (season 4- WHOA), beautiful dinners, visits from Jared's best friend, New Years Eve fireworks on the mountain, and so much more. Like I said, these people are my family, and it was so comforting to be with them after moving on from school. 

PHEW! And that's three weeks for you, folks! In other news, I'm waiting to hear back on an apartment I applied for in Roseville- just outside of Minneapolis. Fingers crossed, I will be moving in toward the end of January. I am currently interning at both Hennepin Teatre Trust and The Cowles Center for Dance and the Performing Arts. As I see it I am pursuing arts administration at full speed! It's funny, because at every twist and turn of the application process I found myself narrowing in on the Minneapolis theatre scene. It wasn't a clear goal, but as I've gotten both offers, I think I definitely need to tune-in to what my parents, peers, and previous employers have always told me: You'll always work in theatre. Never a shortage of things to celebrate and look forward to. January has been very kind, and I'm very thankful to be loving my life like I do-- let's be real. My internship with HTT just let me sit in during the broadway touring production of The Lion King's final dress rehearsal. I can die happy now.

Move.

I once read that it is a very sad thing for a woman to live her life without knowing the strength of her own body. Remember, slenderness does not equal strength. Do your best to love your body today; but not the kind of love where you have resigned acceptance of the way you are. Love your body by fueling it, by conditioning it. 

 There will come a time when you won't be able to work out. Today is not that day.

One for the books...

Last night, my boyfriend came at me with a knife.

Let me digress...

Yesterday was an extremely successful day in learning more about myself, my career goals, and how I might work to accomplish them. From morning till late evening, I was gaining momentum for the next five weeks before graduation, and I felt utterly compelled to cap the night with a feel-good moment. As Jared and I have been separated by long weeks and arduous schedules these past few months, I thought to myself, "Why not make a surprise visit to Minneapolis for the night?!" 

I rushed to grab contact solution, my phone charger, and of course, failed to remember deodorant. The road was wide open, and all signs pointed to a decision well-made. I was even lucky enough to evade his phone call until I was minutes away. We hung up the phone after saying our "goodnights," and I walked up the stairwell planning my sneaky entry. What's a surprise visit without a stealth entrance, right? Wrong. I thought using my key would allow me to get in unnoticed, mostly because I was convinced he would be watching Conan like always. Instead, he was in the kitchen reading emails, and he heard my fumbling with the key latch.

Well, while I was busy being an awesome, thoughtful (albeit sneaky) girlfriend, Jared was busy finding the biggest butcher knife in the kitchen. Needless to say, I was the one who ended up getting surprised last night. It was one of those moments that was so undeniably sweet and hilarious, as we found ourselves cursing at each other using pet names. 

Yes, last night was one for the books. Thank god neither of us ran towards each other!